The Code of the Fat Kids

There was an exchange in my 6th period class today that for personal reasons I found to be fully hilarious.
Kid: Coach is such a weenus.
Me: Don't call your teacher names. I'm sure that whatever he did he had a good reason for doing it. What did he do, by the way.
Kid: He got me in trouble for cursing.
Me: You do realize that cursing in school is a very bad thing to do, right?
Kid: Yeah. But I only did it three times, and it was on accident.
Me: Well, I can see why he'd be upset.
Kid: Yeah. Well, I wasn't the only one, and the other kid didn't get in trouble.
Kid Number 2: Yeah. There was that other kid cursing right next to him and coach didn't say nothing.
Me: Anything.
Kid 2: Anything. Whatever.
Kid 1: Yeah. That fat kid.
Me (laughing): That Fat Kid? Is that how you refer to your classmates?
Kid 1: Yeah. He's super fat.
Me: That's kind of mean to say.
Kid 2: He is super fat.
Me: Do you even know his name? (still stifling laughter)
Kid 1: I think it's Tyler something
Kid 2: Yeah. It's like Tyler Marks or something.
Me: Well, at least you know that he HAS a name. You shouldn't call people fat, though. You know that right?
Kid 1: Come on, Teacher. It's like the Code of the Fat Kids. If you're fat, you are allowed to call other people fat too. It's like your divine right.
Kid 2: That's true. You should be able to call other people fat if you're fat.
Me: I'm not arguing that. As a certified, card-carrying fat kid, I fully agree. There's only one problem.
Kid 1: What's that?
Me: You're not fat.

Man. Some days I love my job.