Get a Life

During the last hour of school today I got an email from my principal asking to meet with me after school to discuss some department issues. This always makes me wary, because I'm never sure if she just wants to check in or if I should gird my loins in preparation for a colossal dressing-down. I'm not the kind of teacher who wants my name in lights on the front of the school. I don't want pats on the back. I don't want a feature in the local paper. I would be happy if I did my job so well that people didn't even know that it was getting done and just assumed that it was just a natural state of being. I was nominated for an award at our last staff meeting by my friend/colleague/cousin-by-marriage who informed me in advance. I asked him to please nominate someone else. Something about having to stand up in front of everyone and be the center of attention seriously freaks me out. This may be why I haven't had a birthday party since I turned 23.
So being called in for what I assumed was a one-on-one with the principal had me shaking in my boots. Ick. I really, really hate attention. It got even worse when I showed up and found out that my colleague/subordinate Claudia would be there. Claudia is awesome at what she does. She's a perfectionist and we have many of the same ideals. I love her. She also never knows when to shut up. As soon as she walked in I knew it was time to batton down the hatches.
The meeting was epic. There were grievances aired, questions asked, solutions posed... I left an hour later REALLY tired and gratefully (and voluntarily) relieved of my duties as ESOL department chair. Next year I will be in charge of deploying the funds from our $9000 literacy grant we were awarded this spring, and paperwork. I will no longer be the public face of ESL at Dixon Middle School. I will no longer have to conduct or attend meetings. I will be planning no major public events. I will just be another pencil pusher. Thank heavens!
This stupid job has consumed me this year. It has kept me up nights, working EVERY weekend, at meetings by 7:00 on Friday mornings. I have had to go to so, so, so many meetings. It's been a nightmare. I walked out feeling a little bitter sweet. I will no longer be the "boss" of my department. I will also no longer have the hatchet poised over my neck as I sweat it out on the chopping block. In short, I will have my old life back. *insert relieved sigh.* In the end, I am glad for the experience, and I am even more glad that it's over.
Now to get busy getting back to living.

Grown Up Fun

My students always whine about how much work they have to do and how people give them too many responsibilities. I tell them to enjoy the good times because most of the time being a grown-up stinks! Bills, work, no sleep, more bills, more work, and no one to do your chores for you.... it's a real pain sometimes. I kind of lie to them, though. There are some things I really like about being 28, and I assume that the older I get, the more I will have to look forward to (or at least that's what I tell myself as I'm staring down the barrel at the big 3-0).

Here's my list of reasons why being a "grown up" rocks:

1. I can eat cake for dinner if I feel like it.

2. I have no curfew.

3. If I want to read a book or play on the computer instead of doing my chores, nobody can hassle me about it.

4. I look way hotter in bathing suits and dresses now than I did when I was 15. Bow chicka wow wow!

5. I get to have sleep-overs with my best friend EVERY NIGHT!

6. I have a job that pays me lots of money, that I get to spend on pretty much whatever I want.

7. I know how to walk around in very high heels without falling down or tripping.

8. I no longer feel the need to impress rude people in order to be socially accepted.

9. I get to boss people around.

10. All the stuff that made me feel like a misfit, a weirdo, and a loser when I was a teenager (like my preference for antiquated handicrafts, and thrift-store clothing, or my fascination with European History) actually makes me a much more interesting and productive adult.

What do you think is the best part of being a grown up?

Interesting Health News

One of the big themes in my blog/life this year has been my health, specifically losing weight and exercising. I'm happy to report that as of today I am currently jogging about 7-8 miles a week and I've almost completely cut sugary foods out of my diet. Except for the past few days (I've been sick with a sinus infection... again....) I've had a lot more energy and I've been in a much better mood. Usually the stress from the end of the school year gets me feeling really negative and depressed but I've been feeling great lately, despite the huge amounts of stress from my job. I've also lost about 10 pounds and gone down a dress size, while toning up some of my problem areas. I'm excited to take things up to the next level this summer. With 10 weeks to do whatever I please, I plan on increasing my exercise program and possibly switching to a vegetarian diet.

As I have been researching the best ways to tone up, slim down, and generally improve my health I have come across a lot of research talking about how bad sugar is for you. This article in particular really sums up most of what I've been reading in regards to sugar and its negative health effects. I recommend you read it if you or anyone in your immediate family suffer from any sort of metabolic problems. The author is some bigwig at the University of Florida in charge of Nephrology, Hypertension, and Renal Transplantation. He is the author of the book The Sugar Fix: The High-Fructose Fallout That is Making You Fat and Sick. I haven't read the book, but I've read several of his articles on the dangers of sugar and to be honest, he's kind of scared me straight. And if you have some spare time and want to see an even MORE in depth study on the matter, check out Dr. Lustig's lecture about fructose on You Tube. It's kind of long and really science-y because he's in charge of Pediatric Endochrinology at UCSF and he was presenting his research at a medical conference. It's very eye opening.

Anyway, if you are interested in health, nutrition, medicine, or anything like that, you should at least give this stuff a quick once-over. I'm sure arguments can be made against all of the claims in both of these studies, but something about them really hit home with me.

What are your thoughts/feelings on this issue?

Global Warming?

It is currently snowing. Yup. Snow is falling in big, sticky flakes. My classroom is freezing cold, and I have a sinus infection. I seriously feel like it should be February or March, not the end of May. That's okay, though, because next week I will be here:

Take that, Utah!

Bon Voyage

A lovely picture of our neighbor's home during a recent storm- it looks as if it is saying

"Please, do come in!"

I live very close to a rather large lake. I mean, we're not talking like Great Lakes big, but I would guess it's at least Tahoe sized. We live near enough to it that I have a pretty nice view of the lake out of my big kitchen window. It's very comforting to stand in front of it drinking my morning tea (herbal raspberry... yum!) or smoothie (strawberry-vanilla... double yum!), which ever season it may be. I feel a very close bond with the lake, and if we should ever leave this home it will be one of three things that I truly, truly miss (the other 2 being my garden and the proximity to an AWESOME park).

Living as close to the lake as I do, I enjoy the benefits of being smack-dab in the middle of a micro-climate. That's right, the weather on my side of Geneva road is drastically different from the weather in town. Some notable differences include but are not limited to: double the average city snowfall, random patches of HEAVY fog all winter, hail, and gusty winds. I LOVE IT! The only real down side is that it takes literally 2-3 weeks longer for my flowers to bloom than it doesn in P-Town proper because we're so much cooler out here on the west side.

Right now as we speak it is very, very windy. We always have wild seasonal storms in May and June, and then again in September and October. It's like the winds are blowing out the cool weather before the calm of summer, and then blowing in the chaos of fall. I love the windy season for many reasons: a. it is truly the best kite flying weather of all time b. I can open my windows and the whole house gets instantly filled with "fresh, good air" (that's a phrase Andy made up) and c. when it is windy my house creaks and groans like a big wooden ship.

That last reason is my personal favorite. Our house is solid, sound, and fairly well built (except for the shoddy craftsmanship with the wood floors in the hallway and 2 poorly seamed drywall joints in the kitchen). I am confident that it can withstand any storm that beats upon it, so instead of being concerned by the creaking and sighing of my little, windy home, I rather enjoy it.

Often during the windy season I lie in bed at night, close my eyes, and pretend that I am sailing accross the Atlantic like my ancestors did from Great Britain hundreds of years ago, ready to embark on an adventure in the New World. Sometimes I pretend that I am on a long ocean voyage to an exotic tropical locale. Occasionally I'll pretend I'm on a houseboat in New England, Mexico, the Pacific Northwest, or in South East Asia. It's always tremendously soothing and very comforting to feel like I'm literally being rocked to sleep by the sweet sighs of my cozy home.

It's so soothing, in fact, that I am about to drift off any second now. How lovely.

Bon Voyage!

Shout Outs!

So today I finished the Couch to 5K program... kind of. These past nine weeks I've been running trying to build up stamina so I've kept the pace slow and have been shooting for the time goals instead of the distance goals. I've officially completed the timed program, but I'm not nearly up to 5 K. So starting tonight I went back to week 6 and I'm pushing myself for distance now.
I would like to send a shout out to Jamiroquai, MJ, Beyonce', and Gwen Stefani for helping me beat my personal record on the mile... twice. I have never run a mile faster than 13 minutes before. Tonight I ran 2 11 minute miles. How's that for progress!
There's kind of a group of us that are all running now (thanks to my sister Heather), so if you have jogging stories or just want to get in on the fun, let me know. I've been kind of thinking of starting a fitness blog for real women (not those skinny weirdos who only eat like 800 calories a day and then burn them all off doing triathalons twice a week). I'm thinking it could be a place where we can post pictures of our tracks and our times, etc. Maybe include a space for eating plans or whatever. I don't know if that would be lame, though. What do you think?

Hooray!

So a few weeks ago (last week?) I blogged about this:
Red or Green Cotton Poplin Dress with Sash, Shirt-Collar Dress
Today at work I unexpectedly got a wonderful surprise- a $50 check for mentoring a pre-service teacher working on her TESOL credentials. Syrell did her TESOL practicum in my class. She was pretty good. Not quite as dedicated as Sarah last year, but pretty good. She stopped coming in mid April and I haven't heard back from her since she dropped off some books in my class at the end of the month. I certainly had forgotten that cooperating teachers get a stipend, so today's check came out of the blue. Very interesting, since I have decided to spend it on the red...

Grasshopper

Andrei had his yellow belt test today. It was an awesome experience.

We had to drive all the way to Layton about 75 minutes away, but it was worth it. It was super cute to see all of the little kids doing their best karate moves, and the speech that the sensei (is that the right term?) gave was awesome.

He said that we are born with our hands empty and we die with them empty and that the only thing we get to take with us is what we learn in this life. The only thing we really leave behind are the lessons we teach to our children. He said that as parents we are responsible for teaching our children every day and building a strong foundation for them to live by. I really like how he mentioned that our children didn't have the choice to be born to us, and that we need to stop congratulating ourselves for being their parents- parenting is more than just providing for the basics of life, it is teaching and training our children to be strong, independent adults. He talked about the importance of discipline in the home and how discipline is more than just correcting our children when they do wrong- good discipline includes daily routines that will help our children learn how to be strong adults. He also talked about the importance of life long learning and stressed how all knowledge and skills that we gain can rust and deteriorate if we don't use them. It was cool.

After he spoke for about 15 minutes, the kids took the test. Andrei did pretty well, and his teacher said afterward that he has natural ability and he hopes we continue to encourage him to practice and take lessons since Andrei has a lot of potential in the martial arts.

Here are some of my fave pics from the event:

I think that watching your kids develop skills and abilities that you yourself could never dream of having is one of the best parts of parenting, don't you?

In all the land...

Yesterday was the best day in all the land. That is because yesterday we FINALLY turned in our purchase contract to the IHC hospital in Provo to sell our first home. 

When we both graduated from college, we assumed we'd be moving to 1) Mexico 2) Texas or 3) California. Luis applied to myriad jobs in all of those locations and nothing panned out. Then he started toying around with the idea of starting his own company here in Utah (probably a car dealership), then he started playing a lot of X-Box to get through the tough times...

6 months later we (I) decided that it might be a good idea for him to apply to some jobs around here... You know. Just in case. He interviewed with Enterprise Rent-A-Car and got called back to 2 interviews before they decided to take the position "in another direction." He applied at Univision's local syndicate (or was it TeleAzteca or TeleMundo?). He has experience in TV and even had his own local talk show on TeleMundo for about 4 months when he was in college before the discussion panel disbanded due to internal conflicts. It was called "Contigo en Mente." Denied.

Out of desperation he decided it would be okay to consider a "temporary" bank teller position at Wells Fargo's BYU branch, just so he could get some experience in business. We got online and started the application process. I noticed there was a Personal Banker position that paid nearly double open in Orem. I asked him if I should send in an application for that position too. He told me "No." I did anyway.

He didn't get the teller position but after 3 interviews he got the Banker Position. The rest is history.

2 months later on our 2nd anniversary he bought me a sweet little WWII era bungalow in the heart of the student housing zone around BYU. It was lovely at first, and we were only paying $200 more a month than we would have on rent. I was in heaven. My life plans were FINALLY working out! I was going to get pregnant, have my baby, and raise it on a street with century-old oak trees and flower gardens, just blocks away from parks, schools, and restaurants. I would be the banker's wife with the cute house by Pioneer Park. Divine! I spent the first 6 months remodeling EVERYTHING.

The I was diagnosed with PCOS, and that news was followed shortly by the news that IHC wanted to raze our neighborhood to put up a parking garage.
My bubble burst.
Things rapidly began spiraling downward as our various neighbors scrambled to deal with it. Half of them vacated like rats out of a sinking ship. The other half of us agreed to band together and try to fight it- or at least hold out for a decent price. We signed a 2 year contract with a realtor who promised he'd get us a great price if we went in as a group. 1 year into the contract, they offered us $115K over our purchase price. This was at the peak of the housing boom. We wanted to take it. The neighbors didn't.

We moved out. 

It's been 2 years since then of constant haggling, internal fighting, stress, worry, renters, renovations, and deal-making. 

Yesterday we turned in the contract. They will be paying us $90K over our purchase price. Could we have held out for more? Probably. Did they pay us more than anyone else to date? Yes. Am I glad that this whole stinky deal is over and done with? ABSOLUTELY. 

So many dreams crushed under the wagon wheels of industry. I'm just hoping that something good will spring up in their place now that the wagon train has moved on.

Pretty Things

So I am stuck at a weight loss plateau and it's driving me NUTS!!! I mean seriously! What's a girl gotta do to go down a couple of dress sizes these days?
In order to motivate myself I have decided that when I reach my target weight, I'm buying this:
Red or Green Cotton Poplin Dress with Sash, Shirt-Collar Dress
If you haven't checked out Shabby Apple, you NEED to. This is not a suggestion. It is a scientific fact. They are pretty much the only company I've ever come accross that sells stylish, modest dresses. If the prices make you blush, think about how much you paid for your husband's last suit. Personally, I believe that we ladies deserve to look put together and grown-up at church, too.
Now back to the treadmill...

Thank You!

Thanks for your kind words of wisdom ladies! I appreciate your advice on how to deal with my Mother's Day dilemma. The lesson went well and I think I made some good points. I got through my grammatical and syntactical errors without completely melting down. It was not as emotionally difficult to get through as I thought it would, and I was grateful for the 10 minute interruption by the brethren who brought us flowers.
Anyway, here's to another Mother's Day. I hope you all have had a lovely day.
Loves,
-Me

April Showers Bring May Flowers

I love gardening! It combines most of my favorite things- food, being outside, making stuff, and flowers. Here's what I have blooming outside my door today...

I'm going crazy trying to figure out what happened to all the photos I took of the daffodils a month ago. If I find them, I'll post them, too.

For posterity, here is an (incomplete) list of the various flora in my garden: Japanese Maple, Quaking Aspen, Cottonwood, Golden Rain Tree, Maple Tree, Curly Willow, Hosta, Comfrey, Apple Tree, Ornamental Pear tree, Lilac, Lavendar, Cosmos, Peonies, Black-Eyed-Susans, Shasta Daisies, Roses (over a dozen, mostly different shades of pink), Easter Lillies (6 different colors), Sweet William, Iris, Day Lillies, phlox, Alium, Daffodils, Tulips, Hollyhocks, Zinnias, Strawberries, Russian Sage, Stinging Nettle, Narscissa, Tulipas, Hyacinth, Pansies, Poppies, Petunias, Freesia, Fuscia, Marigold, various shrubs & groundcovers (not sure what varieties- they were here when I bought the place), tomatoes (early girl, ponderosa pinks, black cherry), eggplant, herbs (mint, lemon grass, oregano, thyme, dill, cilantro, sage, basil, chives), blueberries, ornamental cabbage, onions, shallots, leeks, melons (3 varieties), watermelons, ornamental gourds, mini pumpkins, gray pumpkins, corn, okra, anaheim peppers, jalapeno peppers, poblano peppers, moonflowers, honeysuckle, scarlet o'hara morning glories, trumpet vines... heaven.

Mother's Day

So... 

This Sunday is Mother's Day. Bleh. I HATE Mother's Day with the firey passion of a thousand suns for many reasons. Aside from the obvious drama, I also have to deal with STEP-mother issues. Did you know that the ONLY person who gets me a Mother's Day gift each year is Andrei's mom? That should tell you something about my life. In fact, that's kind of a microcosm of my relationship with my step-son in general. 2 years ago Luis forgot, Andrei picked me a flower from my garden, and Jerly gave me a $50 bottle of perfume.

I can't remember last year. I think I blocked it out.
And here's another thing- do I stand up and take credit with the other moms at church? I'm NOT Andrei's mom. I mean, I cannot take credit for creating his life. I can't even take credit for dealing with the daily grind of parenting. BUT Andrei considers me to be his mom and I don't want him to feel 

rejected by me if I don't stand up.
The thing is, I don't know if I even want to be remembered on Mother's Day. I don't like feeling left out of the festivities, but I don't want to receive condolence gifts, either. It's like getting the "Most Improved" Trophy at the soccer banquet when I was 6. Obviously I was the worst player on the team and that was the only prize they could give me, but it felt like a slap in the face... I could never figure out if it would have been better to not get a trophy at all.

So many, many, many issues...

My dream Mother's Day would involve skipping church altogether, sleeping in, eating a delicious breakfast, and spending the rest of the day watching super hero movies or gardening.

Instead, this year I'm assigned to teach Relief Society. Yup. You read that right. On Mother's Day I am assigned to stand in front of a group of the MOST fertile women on the planet (who, by the way, mostly hate me) and talk to them about the importance of motherhood in a language which I am barely capable of speaking. I don't have a word to describe the feeling that gives me, but it's a combination of rage, humiliation, sadness, envy, loneliness, and fear.
How should I deal with this awkward and emotionally painful/traumatic situation?
Should I just put on my war paint and 4-inch stilettos and accept the "Most Improved Player" trophy with a smile? What are your thoughts?

P.S. I think the Saturday before Mother's Day should be "Infertility Day" so that ladies like me who want babies more than anything in the world but just can't have them could pamper themselves and get rad, sparkly gifts  and make awesome dioramas of our life accomplishments so that when Mother's Day rolls around the next day we have lots of reminders why we should feel good about ourselves without any of the shame, self-loathing, and resentment that the holiday currently induces.

My Hero

I don't have a lot of heroes outside a few amazing historical figures and the scriptures- I'm not really all that impressed by celebrities (aside from being jealous of their talents). The people who inspire me the most are the ones who make the tough decisions in the middle of adversities and those who show courage and dignity when faced with insurmountable odds.
I have a new hero in my life these days. Check her out here or here .
I keep thinking that if she can face her future staying positive, not letting herself feel sorry for her trials, never giving in to the pain, centering her life on Christ... what excuses do I have? Honestly, none.

Becky's Wedding

LOVE STORY

Rebekah is my cousin. She is very cute. I lived with her when she was 9. She had big glasses and big bangs and played the piano pretty much all day every day. She always makes me laugh. When Becky was in High School she fell for a guy named Steven. I don't think I've seen her without Steven since she was 16 years old, except for when he was on his mission. While Steven was in Germany, Becky was in New York studying Music/Dance Theater. She loved it, but she was sad. So when Steven came back to Utah, Becky did, too. She's wasn't sad anymore.
Yesterday and she got married to her high school sweetheart. It was a darling wedding. I should know because I helped with the centerpieces, the cake, the photography, and Luis did the music. Sigh. I love weddings. Here are some of my fave shots from the reception.

Becky is on her honeymoon right now in Ireland. Isn't she a lucky girl?