Get a Life

During the last hour of school today I got an email from my principal asking to meet with me after school to discuss some department issues. This always makes me wary, because I'm never sure if she just wants to check in or if I should gird my loins in preparation for a colossal dressing-down. I'm not the kind of teacher who wants my name in lights on the front of the school. I don't want pats on the back. I don't want a feature in the local paper. I would be happy if I did my job so well that people didn't even know that it was getting done and just assumed that it was just a natural state of being. I was nominated for an award at our last staff meeting by my friend/colleague/cousin-by-marriage who informed me in advance. I asked him to please nominate someone else. Something about having to stand up in front of everyone and be the center of attention seriously freaks me out. This may be why I haven't had a birthday party since I turned 23.
So being called in for what I assumed was a one-on-one with the principal had me shaking in my boots. Ick. I really, really hate attention. It got even worse when I showed up and found out that my colleague/subordinate Claudia would be there. Claudia is awesome at what she does. She's a perfectionist and we have many of the same ideals. I love her. She also never knows when to shut up. As soon as she walked in I knew it was time to batton down the hatches.
The meeting was epic. There were grievances aired, questions asked, solutions posed... I left an hour later REALLY tired and gratefully (and voluntarily) relieved of my duties as ESOL department chair. Next year I will be in charge of deploying the funds from our $9000 literacy grant we were awarded this spring, and paperwork. I will no longer be the public face of ESL at Dixon Middle School. I will no longer have to conduct or attend meetings. I will be planning no major public events. I will just be another pencil pusher. Thank heavens!
This stupid job has consumed me this year. It has kept me up nights, working EVERY weekend, at meetings by 7:00 on Friday mornings. I have had to go to so, so, so many meetings. It's been a nightmare. I walked out feeling a little bitter sweet. I will no longer be the "boss" of my department. I will also no longer have the hatchet poised over my neck as I sweat it out on the chopping block. In short, I will have my old life back. *insert relieved sigh.* In the end, I am glad for the experience, and I am even more glad that it's over.
Now to get busy getting back to living.