Some Little Known Facts About My Step-Son

Andrei was originally supposed to be named Luis Jr; When I was 12 I decided I was going to name my firstborn son "Andrew" or "Andre" after my brother who died; I learned around that time that it would be difficult or impossible for me to ever have a son of my own; I don't believe this is entirely a coincidence.

Andrei was born at 34 weeks weighing around 7 pounds; the second toe on his left foot is twice the width of his other toes with a funny-looking nail- we think it started to divide in half at some point in the womb; he had a heart murmer when he was an infant and I cried myself to sleep for a week before his appointment with the cardiologist because I was so worried.

Andrei learned how to whistle, snap his fingers, and burp on command before he could even speak in sentances or paragraphs; last summer he learned how to make farting noises with his armpit; I encourage him, even though I know I shouldn't, because I think he's cool.

Andrei is bilingual, but doesn't like to admit it; his first language is Spanish.

When Andrei grows up, he wants to be a "fry cooker"; I support this goal, because I think that there are a lot worse things in life that he could be aspiring to, and because he actually does have a talent for cooking; He could boil water and toast bread by the time he was 3.

I can always tell when Andrei is actually asleep and when he is faking because if he is awake he has a constant stream of sound effects narrating his life experiences; usually Andrei's sound effects sound like he is shooting something or crashing a car.

Andrei has had a six-pack, back hair, and peach fuzz since he was a toddler; Andrei has at least 2 admirers who live on our street, most likely due to said moustache and six pack; both of those girls are older than he.

Andrei invented a game when he was a baby called "chili pim-paw"; I have no idea what that means and neither does he anymore, but we still play it on a regular basis.

Andrei shares everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, he owns with everybody, including strangers; we cannot keep juice boxes in our garage fridge because he will wander around the street offering them to every person under 30 that he sees.

Andrei invented the nickname "Nana" for me when he was 1 year old because he realized he couldn't call me "mommy" or "papa," but didn't want to call me "Camille"; he still refuses to call me anything else, because he thinks "Nana" is more special; I agree.

Andrei  picks me flowers whenever we go out for a walk; he calls my hair "spaghetti" and pretends to eat it if I wear it down.

Andrei will make some woman very happy some day.