As the last few hours of 2013 are drawing to a close I cant help but be glad. It was a difficult year to say the least. Nearly 100 days of full bed rest, giving birth to my beloved twins at barely 24 weeks and then losing my precious Robert so soon after. Five and a half months in the NICU from 7:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. 7 days a week all while trying to maintain my family, job, and marriage. Desperately trying to will my Rosie well every ounce, speck, and cell in my body when even her doctors doubted she'd pull through. Having a six month old newborn at home and living and working on no sleep. It's been without a doubt the most difficult and demanding year of my life. So many things have been cast by the wayside and so many new connections made and lessons learned.
One day I may finally sort through it all in my head and write it down. Everything. The fear, the lonliness, the joy, the pain, the endless monotony of waiting. Perhaps one day I'll come up with the words to describe how it feels to let go of everything you thought you were in control of and hold your breath, waiting for some greater force to intervene when all human effort has fallen short. And then to exhale as the divine steps in.
Until then, I must simply admit that 2013 was also without a doubt the greatest year of my life, as well. With that, I leave you with the words of one who said it so much better than I ever could...
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