I have to take a test in the morning. I've been avoiding this test for going on 5 years now. No. Make that 6 years. This is the test I have to pass in order to officially be labeled "highly qualified" to teach in the state of Utah. I resent this test because it symbolizes to me everything that is wrong with education in the United States. It is not good enough that I have a college degree. It is not good enough that I have stellar reviews from my students, their parents, my administrators, and the University and District supervisors I have to deal with. It is not good enough that I have nearly 50 post graduate credit hours under my belt. No. I have to take a test to be qualified for my permanent teaching license. If it were a good test, I might not mind, but it is a stupid test. It consists of 24 multiple choice questions and 12 essay questions. I have 2 hours to complete it. The questions deal with educational theory and teaching methodology. So I have been rebelling and avoiding this test as long as is humanly possible. Most people take a training/prep class and study for about 2 months to take it. I will be taking about 32 ounces of Diet Coke and studying until about 2 a.m. tonight (don't worry- test doesn't start until 10:45 a.m.).
Why the Diet Coke? Because A. I will be up late studying and B. I am fully ADHD and cannot concentrate on anything unless my brain is given a high dosage of stimulants. I tried ritalin in college for like 2 weeks and hated it because I was too focused. Since then, Coke is my drug of choice. That's actually why I got addicted to the stuff in the first place- I used it to fuel all-night cram sessions when I was taking Anatomy and Physiology in my pre-med days.
Anyway- off topic.
So this test is lame, stupid, and completely necessary to keep my job. As usual- I've put something terribly life-altering off until the absolute last second, so wish me luck. I just have to remember Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and Vygotsky's Zone of Proximal Development. I have ot memorize the names/dates of like 10 pieces of important educational legislation and thow in some buzz words like metacognition and alternative assessments and I'll be golden.
For now, though, it's time for a Diet Coke run.
Update: Ounces of Diet Coke consumed to fuel all-night cram session: 28 (pretty low for me). Hours of sleep: 5 and a half. Minutes spent cramming on useless information that was not on the test while standing in line to register: 15. Minutes spent cramming on information that formed the basis of 3 of my essays while standing in line to register: 5. Minutes spent filling in paperwork: 23. Time spent taking exam: 1 hour and 57 minutes. Pencils used up while writing essay questions: 5. Pages of essay questions written: 11 and a half. Number of mult choice questions (out of 24) that I had to totally guess on: 1. Number of mult. choice questions I was kind of unsure on: 5. Number of essay questions that I totally already knew the answer to: 18.
Overall I feel like I did pretty good. Won't find out the results, though, until May. Hope I did ok or else I'll have to cut the England vacay short by about 3 days to come back and take the test again in June.
2 comments:
Good luck Cami, I'm sure you'll rock it. :) I remember studying that stuff with John. He studies best if he hears what he's studying so I recorded myself reading his notes. I agree though, it's really useless material that has practically no application in real teaching. But I'm sure you'll give them what they want and do it magnificently.
Knowing that you did the bare minimum and probably still did better than like 91% of the people that paid for prep classes - priceless. Thanks, dad!! :)
P.S. The word verification is "mushy". Awesome.
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