Hi Ho! Hi Ho!

So those of you who know me really well know that I have a total love-hate relationship with work. I love that I have something to do during the day besides stay home and obsess about the whole infertile thing, yet I hate actually doing any sort of paid work. If I could get paid to be like an Indiana Jones-esque super-bad archeologist or like an internationally famous fashion designer, then I'd probably be psyched to get up and I might even stop hitting the snooze button 6 times in the morning, but let's face it... English teaching and owning a small business are neither exciting nor glamorous. Since those are kind of my only options right now, I do the best I can, and trust me... I'm really happy about some of the perks, like owning 2 houses (one of which is like the coolest house ever) and having summers off. But days like today, I'd really rather sit through a root canal than think about going back to work after the weekend. That's why I'm wasting my time on my blog rather than grading the humongous stack of papers that's piled up in my office. Thus, I bring to you my top 10 lists for the day:

Top 10 things I hate about my job:
1. Office politics that could be literally taken out of an episode of "the Office" including the egotistically oblivious boss and the incompetent, lazy peers
2. grading papers. It's like doing the dishes, only takes longer and is more boring.
3. showing up to work at 7:30. Granted I get out of work at 3:15, but it still sucks
4. dealing with puberty, every day. If you thought it was bad the first time around, try reliving it 150 times a day, 180 days a year.
5. my paycheck. Granted, I get paid a lot more than a lot of people, but I have to go through hell to get it... leading me to
6. dealing with other people's bratty kids. You know that little pain in the butt you have to deal with in your primary class? Guess what. His teacher has to deal with him 5 days a week, and he hates school a lot more than he hates church. Of course, it's not his fault. His parents made him that way, which leads me to...
7. Watching all the horrible things that people do to their kids. It breaks my heart sometimes.
8. Grading papers. I have to do it more than once a week, so it's on the list twice.
9. I can NEVER leave my work behind. I can't go out in public without seeing a student. I can't enjoy my church services, because someone is always watching me. I can't even just hang out in my garden, since I live next door to like three of my students. It's like living in a fish bowl.
10. There is ALWAYS something else I could/should be doing to be a better teacher. It's exhausting, and I'm on a constant guilt trip.

Top 10 things I love about my job:
1. Summer Break, baby! Isn't this why MOST teachers become teachers? At what other job can you get paid a year's salary for 180 day's worth of work?
2. I don't have to work weekends. Ever.
3. I don't have to work holidays. How many people still get like Columbus day off? That's right. Pretty much just teachers. Heck. I still get SPRING BREAK!!!!
4. Respect. I tell people what I do and automatically I get props for doing what I do.
5. I get to correct people's grammar and spelling, and they know it. Disclaimer: all my blogs are first drafts. Don't judge my editing skills based off of my writing here.
6. I get to use correct grammar without looking like a total snob. Try starting your sentence with a preposition and you'll see what I mean. Only English teachers and butlers are allowed to start a sentence with the words "For whom..." without being total weenuses.
7. I know how to use semi colons. That's right. You heard it.
8. I get to hang out all day with people who are so nerdy they actually make me look cool. Major plus. Seriously. You should talk to some of these guys. Did anyone ask for a Dungeon Master?
9. I'm the popular kid in Middle School this run around. The first time I did it I was a total bottom feeder in the popularity fish-tank. This time, I'm seriously like one of the most popular teachers in school. Kind of sad that I care, but I do, and I am. So take that.
10. People, at least a few of them, will remember me for the rest of their lives. Try finding another job where you have that much impact on another person's life. It'll mess with your head if you think about it too much. I read an email once that asked you to name everyone on student council your Senior year of high school. Then it asked you to name all of your teachers in high school. The point was that you can probably remember your dorky teachers a lot more than all those cool kids that you thought were so important.

Top 10 jobs I really wish I could have, but doubt I could ever realistically pull off
1. archeologist
2. professional crafter
3. best selling author
4. librarian
5. gardener
6. costume designer or set designer for a major motion picture
7. college professor, which is like being a teacher only with a lot more power and vests
8. professional musician
9. host of my own travel show (I heart Anthony Bourdain!)
10. domestic engineer

Top 10 things I'm most likely to do instead of grading papers
1. buy stuff
2. cook
3. watch tv
4. take a nap
5. craft projects
6. redecorate my house or work in my garden
7. listen to the radio
8. talk on the phone
9. go somewhere. anywhere.
10. play on the internet

Well. That's that. I have to grade 2nd period's work now. What would you do if you could do anything?